For the Love of Ivey

Once upon a time I wondered how in the world Ivey would ever merge herself into this world and how we would survive in the normal world. You know the normal conversation world. Now I realize that she is doing just fine, the boys are just fine, it's me who can't get a grip some days.  Some days it is hard for me to converse in both worlds. The end of this school year is wrapping up. Bittersweet.  It ended too quick. The boys have only a few more days and it is exciting winding down. Pool parties, field days and plays. Ivey has had some of those same things, but it is different- yet no less exciting. It's just different. Always different, and never a clue as how to prepare for what might be different and how that might rattle me. I try to think up all the scenarios that might occur that will be different in Ivey's life, different from the boys, different from the things that I see my friends experience with their daughters - and I mentally gear myself to go to those p...

I love it when my California friend is on my wavelength.  It is probably a good thing there are many miles in between Georgia and California.  But the grocery store has been a thing of interests around here lately.  And here is Heather's latest post on Miss Zoe's blog , which is awesome.  Worth watching every single second!  Seriously watch every second - Gwen

is our children. We are only the bridge between them. Our children are her peers. Will be her friends. Will support her as an adult when we no longer are able. Will include her through out her life as one of them. They will rise above fear. Above self consciousness. Above the equipment. Above the stares. They will be guides. Her light will be their light, and their light will be her light. The key is how we teach them. What skills we give them. The compassion we instill in their little heads and hearts - will make the difference. After the last post - so disheartening - This is what is real in Ivey's world - LOVE and compassion and respect and acceptance + And this is a group...cheering on the athletes at Special Olympics. Thanks Beth. One is my son - knowing the compassion, yet not quite knowing the real reason he is cheering. Not yet. He just knows to cheer. Supporting the participants. One of those athletes will one day be his sister.  And as for those cheering on e...

Anger. It comes in many forms. Each day is unique.  One good like yesterday. One like today - a roller coaster.  Today – as I was transferring Ivey from the carseat to her wheel chair, I observed a car pulling into the handicap space across from us. Anger. Out bops the woman. She unloads her pharmaceutical rep baggage (lots of it) and sashays to the elevator, baggage and 2 inch heels. It was only when I was in mid sentence did I realize that I was actually projecting my voice toward her (loudly) across the parking deck. Oh my, my thoughts escaped my mouth and I was actually questioning the validity of her 'handicap'. She stood stunned. As was I. Considering our location – the parking deck below Children's at Emory – I was enraged. This makes the third drug rep to have a handicap tag – I'm mad. And then there was yesterday. I have XM radio in my car. Occasionally I listen to one of the comedy stations. Laughter is the best medicine right? Well, as Ivey and I h...

As we (Ivey and I) were waiting on the elevator to take us up to the fifth floor for her doctor's appointment yesterday there was a sweet man waiting. He looked at Ivey and grinned then proceeded to wave at her and make baby talk with her. Ivey never acknowledged him. I just smiled and looked down at her. I thought it best to not embarrass him in front of the gathering line for the elevator. Doors opened and in we squeezed. Considering that Ivey was in her chair there wasn't much standing room in the tiny little elevator. He was standing beside her. He looked at me and said, "Is she, uh, well, how is she, good, I mean, uh…" Tongue twisted for words. "Oh, she is great. Doing great now. She is blind and she doesn't hear well that's why she didn't acknowledge you before." He said, "Oh that is good news, and uh, well, I um…... I tell you, that is some curly hair she has!" "Yes sir, it is. I don't know what to do with it ...

The Special Mother by Erma Bombeck Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how mothers of handicapped children are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger. "Armstrong, Beth; son. Patron saint...give her Gerard. He's used to profanity." "Forrest, Marjorie; daughter. Patron saint, Cecelia." "Rutledge, Carrie; twins. Patron saint, Matthew." Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a handicapped child." The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy." "Exactly," smiles God, "Could I give a handicapped child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be ...

Some Mothers Get Babies With Something More Lori Borgman Monday, May 12, 2002 My friend is expecting her first child. People keep asking what she wants. She smiles demurely, shakes her head and gives the answer mothers have given throughout the ages of time. She says it doesn't matter whether it's a boy or a girl. She just wants it to have ten fingers and ten toes. Of course, that's what she says. That's what mothers have always said. Mothers lie. Truth be told, every mother wants a whole lot more. Every mother wants a perfectly healthy baby with a round head, rosebud lips, button nose, beautiful eyes and satin skin. Every mother wants a baby so gorgeous that people will pity the Gerber baby for being flat-out ugly. Every mother wants a baby that will roll over, sit up and take those first steps right on schedule (according to the baby development chart on page 57, column two). Every mother wants a baby that can see, hear, run, jump and fire neurons by the...

..................................................................................................................................................... R.E.S.P.E.C.T Ivey's hands - they are her eyes and her ears !!!    .................................................................................................................................................... Our hands ALWAYS reside under Ivey's hands. She holds our hands. This is called HAND-UNDER-HAND.  This is the correct technique for communicating with and for teaching  Ivey .  Whether showing her something, introducing yourself or signing with her, this is how we all do it.  By doing these steps, we will create a SAFE environment for Ivey.   This will encourage her curiousity, flame her independence and most importantly - it reinforces that we/you are on her TEAM providing a safe world.  Suprises are not fun to a deafblind individual....