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Showing posts from May, 2013

Content

is something that I am not.  Ever.

But my girl, she is a different story.

She has a drive that is unfathomable to me.  She endures more obstacles that one human might be able to endure, sometimes I think, even more than one should endure, but somehow she does it with grace and more often than not, joy.

I don't understand her at all.  She is truly wonderfully made.  All the right pieces, in just the right amounts.

Today, our girl completed first grade.

It is quite amazing when you think about it.   She has moved mountains to be here.  And yet, she is content.

I don't really understand it.  She has this drive that Matt and I both have, but in Ivey it is amplified to indescribable amounts.  She gracefully moves through the moments, working so hard, striving to be more than she was the day before, yet somehow, in each moment she is content.

She is content in the moment.  And somehow, in her contentment, she pushes further.  She wants more for herself; she expects more from us.

The 85%

I read a lot about children with special needs.  A LOT.  I read what I can find on mommas with children with special needs.  I re-read the same articles on marriages (surviving) with a child with special needs.  And of course, I read about the siblings.  But now, officially seven years into this, I am merely re-reading the same words over and over.  It is all the skimming the surface.  All recapping "it's stressful".  The stress of the day directs me to which topic I will Google for the day.  As for books, they all skip the surface too or they are the stories that tell of the hardships of the child.

I am tired of going to workshops on special needs.  It is always the same old same old. 
I have read the books that are sad (or mad) from parents living with a SN child.  I'm past that.
I want to read something real.  Cut the crap.  
(This has been brewing for a while.  I want to talk to someone who will be real.  Real.  Not hyped up on special needs superhero steroids.)