For the Love of Ivey

Several weeks ago my friend Megan in my online anophthalmia group responded to another parent whom was concerned about things that people will say to or about their child in public. The mom wanted to know how the rest of us ‘handled’ questions or comments. Things like ‘what’s wrong with her’, ‘Why is she sick’, some type of sympathy comment, or the worst ‘I am so sorry’. Megan has learned how to handle those questions with grace. Without making the person asking the questions feel uncomfortable, Megan can answer the questions. She has tact. More often than not, I find myself explaining things, trying to make the other person feel comfortable. Never mind the fact they just made our family and my children feel like a sideshow. Here’s the thing - What do you say? I have juggled this particular issue for a while. I know it is hard. I remember being on the flip side. Depending on the day, our place in time and most often the amount of sleep, my response to ‘those’ questions vary. Sometimes...

One year ago today Ivey was baptized. As with all baptisms, it was a sacred day for her - for us. Her baptism like many events that unfolded in the first few days of Ivey's life, is like a flash of light. One year ago today, Ivey was just shy of being one month old. I remember more from that one day than I do from all of the rest of the days of her first month. It is funny what the mind chooses to remember - what it chooses to forget. May 22nd was a wonderful day. I picked out a sweet dress given to Ivey at a shower before she was born. The nurses in the NICU had her all bathed, bow and all for the big day. It was to be Ivey's first day out of the NICU. Arrangements were made for her to be transported to the hospital's chapel. Not the way I would have planned it, but God didn't give that choice. Ivey was given several gifts that day. Sacred gifts. One was a cross molded to fit into my hand, eventually it will fit Ivey's hand. That cross has traveled to many doctors ...

I went to the melting pot again today. Wal-Mart. It may truly be the one place in the United States that no matter your socio-economic tier, gender, age, religion or race all seem to visit, most weekly. I am always amazed at how much junk we all carry out of that place. I mean junk, for it always ends up in the garabage sooner or later. No matter my agenda for shopping, I leave with at least three things not needed or really wanted. This brings me to my point. A couple of weeks ago I was standing in line waiting to check out. The lady in front of me was of middle age, and like I said we all have our vices we leave with when shopping at Wal-Mart; she bought cigarettes. I was of course buying several things with a lot of caffeine in them (for me, not the children). I looked behind me; someone else had a buggy full of non necessary stuff thrown in with her groceries. Then the cashier asked the lady in front of me if she would like to donate ONE dollar. The lady shook her head no - Serious...

That's what Knox said this morning. He is right. It is. The other day a friend quoted something she had read that said something to the effect of.. raising children (toddlers) is like being pecked to death by chickens. I think we could all attest to that one at times. Atleast I can. As much as I have loved being a mother, this year alone I have found out exactly what it means to be a mother. There are no limits. It is not always fun. At times my heart swells, others times it breaks. Nevertheless, it always mends. I will walk through fire for my children. I have done just that at certain moments of this year. Not just for Ivey , but also for my two sons. Last night Matt and I went to a wedding. I sat and wondered what their future held for them. I could not help but smile when I thought of today. What would the person from my wedding have said to the idea of entering into this life that we are now living? Most often, sooner than later, the wife becomes a mom. I did not get 'it...

(A milestone-crossing midline with her left hand. What does this mean? The two lobes of her brain communicate.) "Can you fix it?" "Yeah sure, but I don't think it's really broken.” Last weekend I went to Wal -Mart for the finishing touches for Ivey's party. As I was buggying down the frozen food isle, I passed a mom of two, one child had Down's . The little girl was extremely friendly and chattered toward me as long as I was in view. I did my best to speak to her, even though the mom wheeled past me at no less than the speed of light. I resisted the urge to chase the mom down and tell her its okay - I don't mind and secretly I pray that Ivey has those same homecoming queen ambitions about her someday. On Thursday I ran to Pier One to pick up a cover for a director's chair. Knox accompanied me. As we entered the store five men were sitting in chairs, all of which were handicapped (mentally). I smiled and spoke to them; Knox paid them no atten...

Have you ever planned a day - to the inth - for it to pass too quickly? Kind of like a wedding reception, you plan plan plan, then in a blink it’s over. Well, I think this past Sunday ranks into that category. This explains why I do not have pictures. I will have to wait for my mom and Lowery to email the ones that they took. My pictures are in my head. This past Sunday was a duel celebration. We celebrated Ivey’s baptism and dedication. Then we celebrated her birthday - yes again. It was one perfect day, right down to the weather. I will attempt to keep a very long story short. Thus, I must leave out the good details. Ivey was baptized on May 22, 2006, not even a month after her birth. On rare occasions it is necessary to rush some things. Ivey’s baptism was one of those things. We just didn’t know if there would be time to do it later. Ivey was baptized in the chapel of the hospital. During her baptism she was surrounded by her parents, three nurses and three church clergy. That day ...