Dear Lei,

To answer your question, no I am not immune to people and their behavior, and yes it hurts. I do not want to become immune. It is all part of life with Ivey. We take the good with the bad, and this part keeps us grounded.

If you are confused, let me explain. The other day my blogging friend, Lei, asked a couple of questions in reference to the post about 'our club'. She asked if we have become immune to people's behavior toward Ivey over time. (The negative behavior) She questioned if the behavior hurts. I have to say that just thinking about it cuts to the quick. However, it is a very hard question to answer because it makes me deal with something most people spend time desperately trying to avoid, especially when it comes to Ivey - reality. We take our spoon full of reality around here every day.

My instinct is to give Lei a round about answer that avoids the truth and makes her walk away feeling all warm and fuzzy on the inside. Something like, "Oh, it does not really bother me. I do not care what other people say or think. It's like water on a duck's back. I just turn the other cheek. " But the truth is I am human. It hurts. It hurts me and my husband. Eventually, Ivey will hear the pauses and understand the silence or she will feel the stares. What is worse, she will hear the words…the mumbling…maybe even laughter. I already loathe the day that Knox and Walker are taunted because of their sister's differences. Children can be cruel, but who do they learn it from? Just like the other day, the woman did not see my two sons watching her as she set an example. I just hope my example trumps hers over time.

Have you ever had to watch your child hurt and have no way of preventing the hurt? Can you imagine what it would be like to know every time you go somewhere new, someone will stare at you? What would you do if you knew your child would be called names or not want to be played with? Now multiply those emotions by infinity. She will always be the different one when it comes to normal children, or adults for that matter. That…. is reality.

I would like to say that I do not care how others respond, but it would be a lie. I do want my daughter to be loved and accepted for whom she is, but that is not the reality we are dealing with around here. We live in a very vain world based on appearance. What is it they say about first impressions or judging a book by its cover?

From the outside of these walls, I am certain that it is easy to just shrug shoulders and not worry. This particular area of Ivey's life has many gray areas that are not so simple. I have learned to keep a bow in Ivey's hair. Keep in mind that she only has fuzz, so I use a little trick the NICU nurses taught me. The bow serves as a focal point and it works. Now pauses are fewer. And since the weather has been cold she wears some really cute hats. I realize now that most people do not intend to be rude, they just do not know how to handle the situation. Sooo, they avoid it. It is a continual roller coaster ride of emotional highs and lows.

It is like Lauren said - the face of God comes in many forms….I get to look at him every single day.