For the Love of Ivey

I remember the first time it was suggested that maybe, just perhaps, Ivey's brokenness (from a certain vantage point), was possibly, just maybe, due to some sin that existed, maybe because of me, maybe Matt  - and unimaginably - Ivey was bearing that cross, wearing that sin for all the world to see. The first time - that suggestion caught me off guard.  I used to know the scripture that might even suggest it.  I have forced myself to forget it. But every now and then, the shadows creep in, and I wonder. A few weeks ago I sat in the pew during church and again was caught off guard when our rector mentioned a similar scenario that he had witnessed many years before, at another church - where someone asked "What did these children do to deserve this?" and the person that was being asked the question responded back "And what did you do to not?" -- Amen sister!!  I find it hard to believe that there is a scoreboard in heaven.  At least not one of that kind. A...

Update:  (Make sure to click on the link and read  "The Brave Little Soul" .) Sometimes I really have to stop and wonder about Ivey's purpose in this world.  Literally stop and wonder, revel in the wonder.  Her little life marked such a drastic change in every single thing I thought  I knew in the years accumulated in this world before her birth.  All of which adds up to be basically - nothing. I stop sometimes and look at myself in the mirror, literally.  I see changes, most of which I see I feel she changed, maybe a little from time and age, but more so my physical changes came from Ivey.  I see tired eyes and extra weight.  I'm learning to embrace both.  I don't like them but time restraints, sleepless nights and stress, well, they physically alter a person.  I'm learning to accept the external changes.  Why?  Well, what I see growing on the inside makes for a much prettier person.  And many might see that as t...