Unexpected
This past weekend we took Matt to one of his favorite places for breakfast for his birthday. Krispy Kreme. It is funny how the unexpected hits so hard sometimes. We were having a great morning and considering that the closest Krispy Kreme is about an hour from here, we were in prime territory for reality to step in. I cannot help but wonder - Is it just me, or does this happen to other moms? Why?
We pulled into the parking lot and can you believe that there was a party going on in there at 9:30 am, balloons and all… A group of little girls were in there in their PJ's eating donuts. So my question – will this be a possibility for Ivey? Will she have that slumber party? Will there be two car loads of little girls there celebrating her birthday? How does it work? What should I do between now and then? Why is it that my heart breaks at the most unexpected times? Why does it have to be so hard sometimes? Is it because those are times between mothers and daughters? Why is it that I love every second and moment with Ivey, but crave to have those 'normal' experiences that just are not there? Why can't I stop wanting those normal experiences for her? Or, do I want those moments for myself? Why are the easy things so hard sometimes? Can any one answer me?
Comments
Ps.Krispy Kreme is my ideal breakfast choice!!!
PSS.Fly to California ... we'll have one heck of a slumber party!!
Ivey needs a MAPS slumber party!! That would be amazing - you can bet that she would have lots of moms and daughters who would give her the best party of her life!
Just go ahead and have the Krispy Kreme party!
The secret is to put yourself in your child's mind and experience the smells of frying donuts, the warmth of the oven as one walks by it, the variety of smells and textures of the counter and the drinks. Rest assured, the kid will eat it right up. And with favorite classmates or relatives along to share the experience, it will be golden.
I think you're on to something when you wrote that you might want those experiences for yourself. Your daughter may never care about sleepovers but she might love riding ponies or ballet. The important thing is to find out what gives her joy and try to make it happen for her.
My three kids don't have any physical, mental or emotional handicaps so I don't really understand what you're going through but I've noticed over the years that sometimes things that seem important, like sports, for example, don't matter at all to some kids. My husband couldn't wait to play catch with our two boys but neither of them cared about playing ball. It seemed like every kid in our neighborhood was in Little League but neither of our sons wanted to join. I think it bothered my husband more than it did the boys. He felt like they missed out on an important rite of passage but they just weren't interested.
In the end they found hobbies and activities that they liked. I'm sure the same thing will happen for Ivey.
People don't miss what they never knew. I have no siblings and that's fine with me. However, some people think it's a tragedy to grow up without brothers and sisters. Again, my case isn't anything like Ivey's but it's remotely similar. I didn't sit around mourning the "lack" of siblings and I don't think that not being sighted will be all that important to Ivey. People make their own normal and with your love and guidance Ivey will have a good life.