Our Road Trip

Let’s pretend we are going on a road trip to DFW, Texas, maybe to see Sarah. Okay, here we go. We are driving down the road. Easy - we know how to navigate through our town and the general direction in which to go - west. At the city limit sign we must decide which town to travel to next so that we keep traveling west toward Texas - yes, Florida would be warmer right now, but let’s stay on course.

After rummaging through the glove compartment, we only find a map of Georgia. Oh, no. How will we ever get to Texas?

We keep pressing forward - west - toward Texas. Occasionally, we stop and ask a gas pump attendant for directions, only to be told, ‘Uh (scratching his head), I am not certain, and (looking perplexed) I think it’s that a way (pointing west and shrugging his shoulders).”

Now, we know we will need travel home once we get to DFW, Texas. So, we record where we are - where we have been - and we keep traveling west.

We do notice along the way that there is beautiful countryside between Georgia and Texas. There are mountains, valleys, curves, and long stretches of highway. However, when night begins to fall the beauty retreats and the route becomes somewhat scary and intimidating - the shadows become terrifying at times.

Occasionally, we make a wrong turn, read the road signs, and realize we are off course. We jot that down too.

Finally, there it is The Great State of Texas. Now we just need to get to DFW - We will stop and visit, enjoy ourselves for awhile. Then at some point, we must travel the long road home.
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This is the best example I can think of to describe what life has been like this past 10 months. Only I am not so certain that I can pinpoint exactly where or what our destination may be. Nonetheless, here is what I have learned so far.

1. We are on a journey - to somewhere - with no directions.
2. No one is completely certain of the route either.
3. However, there seems to be more than one way to get there.
4. I am recording every step so that we can remember where we have been.
5. We will not go home the same way that we came.
6. Our daughter has been great joy in our life. Many of her issues have been our
greatest fears.
7. I have made mistakes along the way. In the battle to do what is right and good
for my children, I have hurt others who are vitally important to our family.
8. I do not think we are there yet; we are probably still somewhere in Alabama (if we are lucky), with a long journey before us, and a long journey home.
9. I am adding this - borrowing it from leslieann - Our tires are not spinning!! We are moving.
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Writing the journey down has been vital for my own existence in the past 10 months. I want to savor every emotion, every high and every low. Unfortunately, I can only do this from my position in the car. The driver and the passengers all see different things from their prospective seats. Luckily, Matt and I switch from behind the wheel from time-to-time. Sometimes he drives other times I do. Sometimes we go the right way. Other times we make a wrong turn. We have hurt each other and others along the way. Maybe we just don’t call home often enough. Sometimes we just get tired of onlookers telling us the best way to go, the sights we should take in and how to make the trip easier. Yet, no one else can ride with us, there is not enough room in our car. They may meet us somewhere occasionally, but they never ride with us. Sometimes the boys are screaming so loudly in the back that we just forget that a world even exists outside of the car. Sometimes we just want to stop and stretch our legs, but the gas tank is empty and we must make it to the next gas station and hope that someone there can give us directions. Other times, we turn up the radio and sing as loudly as we can with it. Sometimes we play games to distract the children from the length of our journey. Sometimes we just stare out the windows at the beautiful land before us. Sometimes we just want to go home.