Over the years I have often found peace in what I have called "God Moments". Those moments that could be meaningless, yet, they happen at just the precise moment, in just the perfect way. I can look back at slivers of time and know without a doubt, God put a person in our path, normally for heart healing, to calm a fear, or one special moment, to send a friend. From our experiences, God comes in many colors, shapes, and sizes. Today the lady walking across the parking lot was one of those people. She was the lady I noticed walking in our direction and I hoped she would just keep walking. The person I noticed look at us and turn to come our way. My wall was already up after events that had just happened just moments before, and with one glance at her, I wanted her to go away. I was ready to deflect her, turn her away, protect Ivey from unwanted questions. Even though we were with three others, after 15 years, I know an onlooker when I see one, or so I thought. And then, there she was, standing, curious as to what we were doing. In seconds, she was quick to evaluate the situation. She spoke kind encouraging words. She saw Ivey as whole. Albeit a brief encounter, the lady walking across the parking lot was not there on accident. She was a reminder that He's got this. He's got Ivey. He's got me. He's got her teachers. And even though I still don't understand why Ivey was chosen as a messenger for people with mental and physical disabilities, He has that too.
Ivey has never spoken a word, but she is ever the teacher, the encourager, the leader.
It's just hard to be a passenger on Ivey's journey. I have a parent's heart that wants her world to be easier, struggle less, hurt less, hear less hurtful words. And in many ways I want the same thing for myself. The lady in the parking lot was the tap on the shoulder. We must experience hard things to appreciate all things. She was my reminder to look up, see the people in our path.
To explain today, I must explain an event at the end of the school year. We attended an event for our oldest son, one pretty important to our family this year, where the handicap spaces in the parking lot closest to the event were roped off and available only to guests that had been highest bidders for seats at the event. Obviously, handicap parking is the closest parking to access the event. So roping off the handicap spaces for no disabled bidders was a reward of sorts. A place that should know better, do better, completely dismissed a whole part of their community, our community. I had foreseen a couple of obstacles that could arise on that special day and made plans ahead of time and I greatly thank those who helped. But this, it was not on my radar. I am saddened to say, actions spoke louder than any words ever could. As they say, actions speak louder than words. Action speak much louder than cute little Instagram quotes or long narrations of service to others. Actions reveal our hearts. Access was denied, intentionally. It was disheartening, especially because of where we were, a place that should have felt like home, should have been "home" for our family. Nevertheless, I was asked if I could drop Ivey off, go park elsewhere. Matt drove separately. And the event was a mix of people all focused on their own families. Really, drop her off? Leave her alone? To go park across the road? While she sat unattended? All because handicap parking was roped off and only available to non-disabled attendees as a reward for buying seats? Who thought this was acceptable? Who seconded the idea? Did anyone stop and think - this might not be our finest moment in being open to guests? Are we really denying access to the members of our community (siblings, parents, family, guests) in wheelchairs, mental/physical disabilities, or health issues? Where were the leaders?
Forgive me, but in these moments, I get a little cynical. I'm Ivey's momma. I bear witness to the struggles and access issues that exist on a daily basis, but this caused an even different kind of hurt. They know our family. Though not willing to acknowledge them, there are others with family members that were denied access that day. We weren’t just guests. It’s not just my belief in doing what is right by another, there are actual laws to protect access for those with disabilities. The laws are in place to guarantee equal access whether on public or private property. I pray beg that those who dismiss individuals with physical, mental, or medical disabilities are always healthy and never have to attempt to walk in Ivey's shoes. Handicap parking spaces (and the lines beside them) are not for convenience, there is never "easy" access for individuals with disabilities, only equal access. Let's be very clear - Handicap parking is NEVER a reward for being disabled. Handicap parking is most certainly not to be used, under any circumstance, as a reward for financial gain. Yet, even the laws were disregarded. We were in a place that was supposed to know better, do better…teach better…lead better.
What did we do? We parked elsewhere.
Today's experience was far from that extreme, rather an unexpected moment at an unexpected place that had a little sting. It rattled me because I carry a deep bruise from the end of school event. Trust has been tarnished. It's hard to unsee true underlying priorities and intentions. Today my brain was spun back to that place … I once again couldn’t help but wonder,” What happened to the hearts and character, (Honor), and integrity of people in the places that are to know better, do better....teach better?” But that sweet lady today, walking across the parking lot, she was a good unexpected moment. A reminder. A smile. A teacher. She was the person who was unexpected. She took the extra steps across a parking lot as she was heading to the bus stop. She was the one who knew better, did better. She's all that is right in this world. She was a messenger reminding us to look up, God is here. In all situations, in all moments.
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