Ivey communicating with peer activity of building with blocks through he...

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And Sometimes Feeding Your Kiddo Looks Like This...

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A simple sentence. No one said it to me in the beginning, but boy did that tube cause a lot of chaos. The NG tube graduated to the G-tube which morphed to a GJ- tube…. A brief history of Ivey's feeding tubes: *The NG tube was in place the first time I ever saw my daughter in the NICU.  My only memory of her without a feeding tube is them placing her in my arms immediately following her birth. *The G-tube, well, that is a story within itself.  That decision did not come lightly.  Another hole in her.  Another decision on our plate, but not really on our plate, it was apparent it was a medical necessity for her survival.  Literally to give her a chance to live.  A permanent decision.  A 5am panic attack in the Scottish Rite elevator that happened to coincide with Dr. Meyers arriving at the hospital at the same time as me.... Our intersection in the elevator set the stage for the years to follow. From that point on, he knew I was a little nuts and a lot...
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Sibling Secret Sauce

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Siblings of kiddos with disabilities are amazing humans walking amongst us. They live a life, most often, in the shadows of their sibling who simply needs "more". More time. More direct attention. More of more. We have now come to a fork in our road. Our boys are young men, and, our daughter is a young lady. I'll be honest, I was uncertain what life would look like once the boys left this home, once they had their own time, in their own personal sunshine. We found out quickly once Knox left for college his freshman year what that would look like. And then, when Walker left, we knew what life would feel like in their absence. There was too much space. Ivey felt it. We get many compliments about the relationship the boys and Ivey have with one another. Hints here and there that, maybe, Matt and I had some secret recipe to parenting a household with a child that is very medically complex and a very complex communicator. This is what I can tell you - there is no re...
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The Surpassed Expiration Date of a Strong Marriage

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22 and 3/4th years. Every word, and more. We were told in the first 2 weeks after Ivey was born, in the midst of the chaos of her and having two toddler boys at home - that our marriage would likely end in divorce. Most special needs marriages do. Special needs marriages are a section of divorce happening at a higher rate than most- yet, overlooked by most. Still, someone felt compelled that we know that information during such a life altering time. It was an added layer we struggled to process, along with many other devastating blows. It scared us beyond belief. We were clinging to one another. Over the years, we have pushed the limits, the barriers. We have slept in the same bed, for weeks separated by miles and hospital walls, with nurses in the next room in the sacred walls of our home, and now, with our daughter tucked away in her own bed in our room. We have hung onto thin air at times. And, we have held on to each other. We were told in counseling, in our darkest days,...
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