Here’s Your Sign

You know sometimes I somehow put myself in some pretty humiliating situations all boiled down to living life with and through Ivey, or at least this little part of my life. Fortunately for Ivey – and unfortunately for the rest of society – I get a tad bit involved and on a soapbox every so often. I've heard it called 'being passionate'.

 Our plans for going home have been altered a little today – and that leaves you at my mercy because it will take approximately two or so hours for Ivey's infusion to run – so let's just say I have some time on my hands….

 Most of my people know that I get a little 'passionate' about handicap parking spaces. It has become one of my things and if I were in contest running on a platform – we would be talk a lot about those little spaces and who needs them, who assumes they need them and those who are plain ole idiots.

 Let's just say hanging around this hospital tugs on me a little.

 Anyway, last week I took the boys and one of their friends, along with Ivey, to Chic- Fil- A after basketball camp and found myself in an awkward moment. One I could not ignore no matter how much I really wanted to.

 The parking lot was slammed because it was lunch time. I had circled the parking lot and was just turning into the parking spot – handicapped- since Ivey was with us – when another car pulled in front of me from the opposite direction pointing at the space trying to ease into the space we were already turning into. What?!

 So I 'signed' for her to 'stop' because that's where I was heading. Lucky for the driver there was one more handicapped spot left right next to us. As I was unloading the wheelchair and three little boys the car pulled next to us. Handicapped sign hanging from the mirror. 

 This left me and the kiddos and the lady driving the car to walk into Chic-Fil-A together. As we were walking she apologized for trying to turn in front of us. She went on to say that her mom, who was sitting in the car who was not coming into the restaurant had a handicapped tag and she wanted to make sure she got the space. The line for the drive though was too long so she was going to 'run' in and grab lunch for them.

 And there it began….when things like this happen I get so nervous – my hands shake – voice hitches up a notch – but I know this is my place – I am an advocate , not by choice, but by affliction– and if I'm not Ivey's spokes person / their spokesperson / others like Ivey – then who will be?

 So I stopped with three little boys in tow and Ivey in her wheelchair and asked the lady "Your mom isn't going to come in with you?"

 She said "No she is going to sit in the car while I run in. (Casually) Don't you just hate when all of the handicap spots are taken?"

 On the inside I was yelling 'really, are you kidding me?!'

 On the outside I was calmly saying "So she's not getting out with you?" ……. In my mind I thought, just move on, just walk, but my 'passion' got the best of me.

 As we walked we talked about Ivey's point of view….the point of view of a child who cannot walk, talk, see or hear well….and no it's not just children. It is all people.

These spots are intended to give access to a world that so many take for granted. What made matters even worse was that she parked in the spot marked 'van accessible' .  We love a family dearly who would have to turn away from a casual lunch because no other spot could accommodate their van or access out of the van. I talked about that too. She said well there was nowhere else to park…. she was so sweet and oblivious to how valuable these spots are. And she was so unaware that her mom sitting in the car, who was disabled and not getting out, did not give her a free pass to park there…. It never crossed her mind…

 I said I know, but you have the OPTION to walk across the parking lot – you have the choice to drive through the drive through, but didn't because of a long line – a valuable space became a matter of convenience.

 That sweet girl was humiliated and embarrassed, so was I, but the opportunity presented itself. Once we were inside she was left to stand beside us in the long lunch line…..and the pressure got to her. She actually jumped to a line as far away from us as possible breaking ahead of other customers in a rush to get out of the restaurant. The entire time I watched her. She barely looked up from her feet. You could tell she had never thought of it from Ivey's perspective.

 And I get it – most people are never faced with a truly disabled person who relies on those spots. They are never exposed to people like Ivey, so the dire need has never been experienced – and I also know that there are some disabilities not present on the outside. So I don't think the spots are only for the wheelchair bound, or the likes thereof. I even know that I probably look like the bad guy some days – especially from a distance. From afar, Ivey looks more like an infant and her wheelchair looks more like a fancy stroller. But that is not the case. She is four and should be walking – and on more than one occasion I have had to sprintto the car because of her seizures – and as time goes on, Ivey will need to walk ….


 And think about if from this perspective, we all wear a sign, some a little more prominent than others. Ivey's signs are pretty noticeable – come hang out in this hospital awhile with us and you would be astonished what some of these kids accomplish.  Asking for a convenient parking spot surely isn't asking too much.  Ivey kind of blends in around here. But out beyond these walls, she is quite unique. Her life, like so many others, is filled slap full of challenges, challenges that would leave most of us hiding under the covers to never leave our homes. But not Ivey, she is full of life, so why wouldn't we speak up for her and all people like her, educate those who don't quite get 'it' and fight for them against the ones who just don't care? It is so simple, so easy to do.

 Well, that's my soapbox for now – handicap parking….it's for the handicap. Find your passion if you can and if you can't, you can borrow some of mine – there's plenty to go around.

 All this talk about Chic-Fil-A reminds me of another great God moment that happened not too long ago, but that is another story…and a great one.

So this is my plea – and your opportunity to be an advocate without too much effort. Park further away when you can. Enjoy that you can walk, talk, see, and hear. And if the opportunity presents itself, speak up, because you can and because it is the right thing to do.