My Girls

I always wanted to teach my girls to set goals and then work - relentlessly - to achieve them. I have wondered over the years if that point was ever made from all of the opportunities I had to help shape their lives. Looking back, there are so many ways that I could have 'done it better'; but at the time, I was doing the best I could with the experience, or lack of experience that I possessed.

I was once told that my expectations were too high for girls their age (15 - 18). 'Really? The world is a lot tougher than I am.' The truth though, I was incredibly tough on them. Have you ever tried to keep 20 girls moving in the same direction? It ain't easy! They lived by guidelines - rules - consequences. I pushed them to their limits, or what they thought were their limits, and then nudged a little more. My girls were physically strong - in shape. Just ask any of my girls about boot camp, our bootcamp came about long before bootcamp was the thing to do. Oh, the stories they could tell.

I have often wondered if they got the point of their time with me. Did they get that the goal was never to win or loose, but how we played the game? Did they understand my expectations? I never expected them to be the best of the best, just to be their best, the best that they could be. Did they get that our objectives were never based on who was the best? Did they learn that they got more out of themselves when they worked toward the good of the team? As my coach used to say, 'There ain't no 'I' in 'Team'. I loved my cheerleaders and tennis players as if they were my own. I had to because some weeks they logged in more time with me than their own parents. Did they understand that I loved each one of them for who they were, not their talent?

My favorite coaching memory is about my tennis team. Going into the Region tournament, we knew the team that we were to play didn't always play by the rules. A lot of teams do this. They stack. Now if you don't play tennis, you have no idea what I am talking about. Stacking is basically taking the best players putting them on bottom of the roster to play the other team's weakest players. This is also known as cheating. It is dishonest. I never approve of this - EVER - even when adult league teams do this.

My girls wanted to counter-stack against this particular team. Their argument-they would be playing the girls they 'should' be playing. Nope. Not gonna do it. There were even a few parents not to happy about the decision. The girls couldn't understand why I would willingly put them in a position to loose. That's life, sometimes you are bound to loose. Long story short here. I sat my girls down and encouraged them. If they wanted the win they must overcome adversity. If they wanted the title, they must EARN it. Not everything in life is free or easy. We would play hard and we would play fair - and we would walk away having done the right thing - not the ease.

My girls were Region Champs that year.

What did I see that day? I saw my girls win Integrity that day - not a tennis match. They were proud of themselves. They were proud of each other. They learned to believe in themselves. They learned what it feels like to do the Right Thing.

I have always wondered what the other coach said to his girls that day. Sorry girls, we cheated and still didn't win, but we tried. I wonder what lesson they carry with them from that day.