The unnamed middle child

I have despairingly resorted back to my book Children: the Challenge, which was encouraged by my pediatrician. (Note the key word here, ‘my’ pediatrician.) . Of course this book was published in the 60’s, I will admit things have changed. I have read it so that I can honestly say that I have when he refers to it.

Tonight as we were eating dinner at our neighborhood Applebee’s, my middle child, whom will remain nameless in this story, reminded me that I have been meaning to evolve my seemingly minimal parenting skills.

Let’s reflect here. On September 8, 2004, as I was awaiting my precious new born son, visions of the joys of a new baby and all of the sweet things to come were still floating in the air. Never mind the numbness of the last Percoset had yet to wear off ….

Two years and a little over one month later and no more Percosets, I must say, the now unnamed middle child keeps things interesting around here. I can remember my mom saying, “If your sister had been the first born, we would have never had you.” She always meant this in the most loving of manners. Keep in mind, I am the oldest, and I had eight long built-in-to-be-the-babysitter years accumulated before my baby sister entered the world. It goes without saying, I asked my mom the other day if my middle child acted like me; she said “No (sigh of relief here), he acts like your sister”. (Dum, D-Dum, Dum, Duuuuum!) (I love my sister very much!)

So tonight while eating in our delightful neighborhood Applebee’s, my unnamed middle child was turned in his chair again to smile with spinach dip, honey mustard and ketchup smeared across his face and stare at the polite gentleman seated behind us. I warned him for the 500th time to ‘Turn around’. After being asked to eat his meal and he returned with ‘not tell my to eat’, I finally threatened (with the penalty to be just that, threatened, not actually delivered. Discipline is much too hard in restaurants.) to take him to the restroom. I quickly stood to give the appearance of actually following through with my threat…..my middle child turned quickly in his chair, folded his chubby little hands together and began “God is great, God is good…” with the sweetest devilish smile and squeezed both eyes shut (that is how he winks), then peeked from under his long dark eyelashes…

What were we to do? No escape, we laughed. I know, I know, a great big NO-NO!

So, back to the drawing board we go.

Parenting skills 101: Children: THE CHALLENGE (during the terrible two’s).