7.29.2006

Holland Here I Come
I have the writing by Emily Kingsley hanging on my refrigerator door. If you are a parent of a special needs child, you know the writing I am speaking of. I read it daily as I open the refrigerator door umpteen times. I have come to regard "Welcome To Holland" as our Mission Statement as proud new parents of a special baby girl. If you are not a special needs parent, you probably have no idea what I am speaking of. I invite you to my refrigerator door.
My first encounter with "Welcome To Holland" came from a friend here in Rome (whom is also located in Holland)....since then, I have imagined myself in an airport, boarding a plane to Italy, taking off, getting nervous at the sight of the ground disappearing, watching the ground get closer, then hearing the stewardess say over the intercom, "We are now approaching Holland" and as stewardesses often do.....she starts to describe the weather/temp/and view of Holland - I watch Holland from the window of my plane. Instantly, I begin to panic. I hear Matt (the non-worrier of this couple) say, "Don't worry, everything will be fine. We will work it out". As I exit the plane, the stewardess hands me my copy of "Welcome To Holland".
I then have no choice but to step off of the plane.................
And here we are three months later, still confused, yet happy and finding the beauty in Holland. No, it is not the Italy I have experienced with Knox and Walker and never will be. But, I am lucky because I have the best of both lands. It is now my turn to share.
The weekend we roomed-in at the hospital I came home on Sunday morning to regroup (if possible) then head back to FMC. This was one of the most emotional days of my life. I walked into my home that morning confused, humbled, extremely scared and in denial of my future. Honestly, there were very few "positive" thoughts. I tried to sit down for a moment to look over the newspaper. I love to read to see who was married over the weekend and all of the details. For some reason I scanned over the "Dear Abby" section, to which I never read because it always reads like a Springer episode. And until now, I have only been able to share this with one other person, but it has brought much comfort to me-when no one person could. I left home that Sunday morning a different person-never to be who I was before Ivey's birth. If you are a special needs parent, this is for you.
God was in the newspaper that morning to help me understand
WHY this baby girl was coming home to me.
It was faith meeting fate.
HEAVEN'S VERY SPECIAL CHILD
A meeting was held quite far from Earth
It was time again for another birth.
Said the Angels to the Lord above-
"This special child will need much love.
"Her progress may be very slow
"Accomplishment she may not show.
"And she'll require extra care
"From the folks she meets down there.
"She may not run or laugh or play
"Her thoughts may seem quite far away
"So many times she will be labeled
" 'different', 'helpless' and 'disabled'.
"So, let's be careful where she's sent.
"We want her life to be content.
"Please, Lord, find the parents who
"Will do a special job for you.
"They will not realize right away
"The leading role they are asked to play.
"But with this child sent from above
"Comes stronger faith, and richer love.
"And soon they'll know the privilege given
"In caring for their gift from heaven.
"Their precious charge, so meek and mild
"Is heaven's very special child."
Edna Massimilla
You will find this on my refrigerator door also.
Love, Gwen

4 comments:

Sarah said...

Thank you, Gwen, I needed to read this tonight. It's such a reminder that my daughter isn't blessed to have me as her mom, I'm the one who's blessed to have her as my daughter! I will be putting this on my fridge, too. :)

Jennifer said...

Gwen- You are amazing. This is a one day at a time journey. Posting those important reminders help you keep putting one foot in front of the other! There are so many people cheering for you, Matt, Knox, Walker & Ivey. We are blessed to be on your team!
By the way, you know they can't grow tulips in Italy that even begin to compare to those you have in Holland!

Renee said...

Gwen, I have sat here several times without knowing what to say, as I don't even know you, but your story is amazing. I, too, was given both of those stories about 3 years ago when our 2nd son was born. I marked them and read them often. I pray that God will continue to grant you and your precious family all of the patience and wisdom that you need during this time.

Especially Heather said...

My dear sweet friend, I am so very sorry yet so very moved at your story. Thank you for sharing your heart and your story with us. It is refreshing to see other moms of special needs children so open and honest.

I am glad that our story has touched you, and want you to know that yours has touched me deeply.

Prayers are being said.
-H

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