As unlikely as it might seem, not every day is all about Ivey. She does get the spotlight here and an unequal surplus of my time on an ordinary day. She, Ivey, is one of three. So I battle the guilty life of wanting to divide time equally, always failing and praying that they, all three of my children, will appreciate the effort some day.
Today was one of those days that was not about Ivey and her improvements, accomplishments, dis-ABILITIES, or any of the latter. Today was about an ordinary day. Today was a day that we, I and my children, have worked very hard for and in some aspects, we have earned. Normalcy.
Today was a little more about the boys. Today was a day about Ivey learning to be ''the baby" and fighting for her own moment in the spotlight – just like any other sibling with older brothers/sisters. Today was another step in Ivey's life toward normalcy.
Today dear Stranger, I did mind. I know that You probably had good intentions. I realize that You were inquisitive. And yes, I encourage both on most occasions. You invaded our time. Yes, my daughter does look a little different than You. But please do not point that out in the middle of a store, especially when You are within arms reach of my children, all three. My sons see their sister only as perfection. Yes, they know she has differences. We were there for my sons today, not to put my daughter in a spotlight that I am most certain You would never want to find Yourself.
So the next time You feel the urge to be polite and sweetly step into our Life, put Yourself in our shoes. Put Yourself in my daughter's shoes. In front of my two year old daughter, You asked if there was anything else wrong? As a mother, would You handle the situation as I did, with a smile? What if it were Your sister? Again, what if it were You??????
I may have told you 'No, I don't mind' today, but I did.
Just watch the video below. Would you really want to be the one to alter their untarnished perception of their sister?
I want to thank all of our friends and family from the bottom of my heart for not making a difference. All of your love and support pulls us through these moments. Thank you Martha for holding her this morning. We love you all so much.
12 comments:
Thank you so much for you honesty and openess. I think it was a great post. I hope that you never look back and take it off. The sincere openess is what people need to hear. Our comments to people especially children can be life changing.
In my case I have a child with beautiful auburn curly hair. And she is always the one that gets the comments right in front of the other children. People have to be careful even when they are good intentioned. I know she has beautiful hair but my other children are beautiful and precious too. They dont realize that commenting on her hair all the time it is putting so much emphasis on the outward beauty. They dont realize that she is the hardest personality to work with and curb into a well mannered nature. While the other children get no comment and are well behaved. What the world thinks that beauty is, is not what God thinks beauty is. It is what is on the inside. I have to remind my little girl of that all the time because of well meaning people.
Please keep telling us how you feel. I enjoy your blog.
Wow. That is so powerful. Your words are amazing. Even though you aren't employed by the school system anymore, you are teaching the world the most important lessons. Thanks for being you.
I love you,
Tami
I have often thought over the last 15 months of jotting down some of the " well intentioned" comments we have received. That my older children have received.We have absolutely had some beautiful things spoken to us. Words that have helped carry us through the difficult moments. Then there were the other words. Words spoken without the forethought of who they were speaking to, about and in front of. I thank you for your post. I hope it gives pause to some before they speak.I want to tell you I check often on your remarkable family and it continues to be a blessing to myself and my family to watch you all move about your lives with such grace and dignity.With such unbridled joy and amazing love.
I am almost positive Ivey already knows how blessed she is to have Knox and Walker in her corner. They are two of the sweetest boys that I (don't really!) know except for what I see and read on this site. They have precious hearts and I love to watch them interact with Ivey. "One person at a time please!" That is too funny! Good for you Ivey - keep practicing your walking, girl!!!
Lots of love, Jill & Ella
Gwen, I don't know where you were or what was said today, but what I do know is that your boys are better people because of Ivey. It may take years for them to know that, but they will. And I also know that WE are better people because of Ivey. In so many ways, she has changed so many.
And I KNOW that Miss Ivey is going to walk. Like most things...when she is darned good and ready.
Allison W
G,
I was just watching the videos below this post, and catching up on your blog. I had not even read the post yet, and I commented to Jonathan, "wow, those boys are going to take care of her." Regardless of what people do or say, those boys are going to be her guardian angels. You can just see it, especially in the way Walker is cheering her on to take steps. I love it. Thanks for you honesty and openness. People have asked me many times about my kids, where they came from, where are their parents, etc. right in front of them. I just politely answer in the easiest way possible and move on. Thanks for sharing,
wendy
Gwen, reminds me I am not the only one (as it feels at times) You are such a good advocate for Ivey!
Great post. I have found myself avoiding certain people (like friends/neighbors with children Reagan's age or younger) and avoiding unnecessary trips to the store so I don't have to deal with the looks or questions of "well meaning" people. It's tough. I'm alway impressed at how other parents of special needs children handle it...someday maybe I'll be able to do the same. But just so you know...you, Ivey, and your entire family are an inspiration to many and you are doing such a wonderful job with that little angel!!
Tera
I am in tears at the precious video of Ivey WALKING!!! How amazing and wonderful.
I love the cheering from mom and dad, but there is something super special when a big sibling just butts in and takes over the "lesson" :) I LOVE IT!!!
That love and care doesn't just "happen" Gwen, you are doing an amazing job at teaching your boys about being a brother!!
Glad I stopped by today...
inspired by you...
liz
Gwen I have probably read this 4 or 5 times before I left something. Everytime I read it I just have to think who in the world would say is there anything else wrong? This person obviously has not read all the great things Ivey has accomplished and how much joy she brings into so many lives! I love the video of her walking and Walker wanting to help her. They are great big brothers! Thanks for sharing all of the great things in your families life and even those hard situations as well. Overall, I believe you make so many people think before they speak.
I'm sorry, Gwen, this just isn't fair. I don't know why people think that it's ok to interrupt another's time with silly questions. Hello, strangers! Our kids do not exist to satisfy your curiosity.
I'm glad to hear that you are getting out with Ivey and the boys - I love this trach-free freedom! And look at Ivey walking on those pink painted toes! She is just so adorable. Hugs from us!
Megan and Ava
gwen who ever said this is truly a rotten human to the core. you have yourself a beautiful little perfect angel sent to you from God.
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