Darlington School: The Special Olympics

Click on "Darlington School: Special Olympics" above. Thank you to everyone in Mrs. Kinney's classroom for putting this great slide show together.

Special Heroes

In just a few minutes we will head out to Special Olympics.  It is a great day and we hope to see you all there!

But please do us a favor while you are there.  Take a second to thank all of our special heroes.  You will know who they are when you see them.  They will be the teachers and para pros, the principals, the therapists and specialists, the ones, who without them, none of this would be possible.

They are the ones whom our children adore.  The ones who bring out their smiles.  The one who push past their "handicaps" and see the people they are destined to be.  They are the believers.  

They are the ones who sweat and grind everyday without ever having much fame or glory.  They work relentlessly - everyday - to push our kids to find the path they are meant to be traveling.  They are the no-boundaries believers, the out-of-the-box thinkers.

They are special.  They are our friends and supports.  They love our children as their own.  They laugh when we laugh, cry when we cry and reach when we reach.  The believe in miracles and in our miracles. 

Tomorrow when all is said and done,  you will see headlines and pictures of the events about to take place today.  They will be amazing pictures of extra-ordinary people, volunteers and great schools (two we are a part of).  But for these special heroes, they will be the ones in the background.  The ones pushing the wheelchairs, cheering, you name it, just as loud as the parents.  They will have the look of success on their faces.  They will be proud of these athletes, not just amazed. They are the ones who should get a spot on the front page news.  But they are humble.  They will silently go back to the classrooms and work magic and make sacrifices that are unimaginable.

They are the ones who, in this special needs battle, chose to fight the battle with us. 

You all are our headlines every day.  We know how wonderful and amazing you all are. 

So from the Sirmans', we thank you.  Thank you for EVERYTHING you do at McHenry Primary...and in Mrs. C's classroom! 

The Clutter Basket

Without a doubt the boys love their sister.  But we are entering into a new arena these days.  It's an arena many parents with children with special needs and their siblings are already in knee deep.  Where we have always been cautious, extremely so, about time, equality and expectations, there are some areas where life is just different for the boys compared to Ivey.  As each day passes those differences become more and more apparent and significant in some circumstances, another aspect of our ever present pink elephant. 

Case in point.  The boys chores and homework are increasing with their ages.  Even in the unbalance of special needs we are trudging through the magnitude of the pecking order and chores and homework amplification due to the inequality of birth order.  Law, the world just ain't fair sometimes!

Over the past few months, in moments where the drill sergeant in our home (that would be me - thanks to my marine corp upbringing at the hands of my father), has expected the boys to be viable members of their home and classrooms.  Imagine this, they are actually expected to hang their clothes in their closet, fold them on occasion, walk the dirty laundry to the laundry room, make beds, pick up toys....oh my!  How do they survive?  And on these type chores, yes there are more, we do not pay allowances.

Hmmmm... You mean they actually are expected to have responsibility that exists while living in a home and for being part of a family. 

Um.  Yes.

Well, like I said, our children are processing this information.  I am assuming that they think their friends have one heck of an easy life compared to them.  Secret is, I know a lot of their mamas, life's not that easy else where either.  So our smart little tadpoles are searching for a loophole.  They have found one, or so they thought. 

Now let me preference this with some information of siblings of special need children.  There are some themes that seem to run deep and across the board with them, and understandably so.  But as parents our job is to recognize this and act on it as best we can.  Still they are siblings.  But my biggest peeve are those parents who run around having a pity party telling the siblings that the sibling with special needs is helpless and requires no expectations for them or from anyone for that matter.  (of course I have my own pity parties all the time, but I work very hard to NOT pass that to the boys...or Ivey.  )

Okay back to the loophole.  I won't waist time here.

The boys, both on occasion, have noticed that Ivey does not put her clothes away quiet like they do, she isn't making her bed, or some of those "typical" chores.

Yep.  They are right.

So on a couple of occasions we have discussed "why" those are not Ivey's "typical" daily chores.  Or better said, why she isn't doing them JUST like they have to!

They completely understand the logistics of this issue.  She even has the "baby" sister card on her side.  Still several glitches to need to be "modified" to get her up to speed in the chore department.  For example, there is the not so mobile (walking) issue, which correlates to the blind issue, which also intertwines with the concept building component...and don't forget that mental delay.  BUT, these are not excuses of  "why" Ivey can't or even shouldn't do chores, merely they are reasons why it is taking her longer to learn and that she will do them differently than her brothers.

Still, she must be getting off easy. 

As for homework, the boys ever so often imply that Ivey doesn't have homework like they do.  I mean its not like she is constantly working on learning the environment - homework.  Learning to be mobile - homework.  Learning to sign- homework.  Learning concepts - homework.  The list is vast.  And not to mention, Ms. G and Ms. S, her yellow book from school doesn't count as homework apparently because it doesn't "look" like their homework.  Technically she never gets that much of a homework break.  But, I get their point. 

So I have been racking my brain trying to think of an ingenious way to set the playing field straight for them.  Thanks to Pinterest - I think I may have found it. 

About a week ago I set up the "Clutter Basket".  I have gathered clutter that they have aimlessly left around and put it in the basket. To get said clutter out of the basket a form of community service must be paid to said drill sergeant.  From jumping jacks to cleaning a toilet, fun and/or misery depending of the drill sergeant's mood and level of frustration from picking up the same clutter day after day.  (Perk for parent)

So upon Walker's rummage through the basket to see what I had collected, I here panic in his voice.  "Mom, you have some of Ivey's toys in here."

Matter-of-factly, "Yes, she left them in the floor.  She has to learn to put her toys away." 

More panic from the over protective big brother.  "MOM, she, she, she...."

More matter-of-fact voice with eyebrow raised and hidden smirk, "Nope, she has responsibilities just like the rest of us.  She is no exception."

"But, momma......."

One point for team Siblings... 
(Team Sibling (all three of them) vs. Team Mom) Technically I won the point, but don't tell them.  See they don't know the powers of the master manipulator......

Through a little persuasion -  he persuading me - he thinks he can help teach her how to put her toys away. It was unjustified, apparently, to put her toys in the blasted Clutter Basket too.  Imagine she is getting treated just like them, how dare me!  Hmmm. 

This eventually led to a discussion of how we he can can help her.  What is fair and reasonable expectations for him and his role with helping Ivey.  Remember too much on the siblings back is just too much.  All this was accomplished without coersion or guilt - on my part.  The point is, I got him thinking.  And without a doubt this is neither the first nor the last time we will cross this issue, it is merely the beginning. But, the boys do have some ownership in more than just their chores, like it or not sometimes.  No one had a choice in the components of this family, not the boys, not Ivey, not Matt and I - it was beyond our control.  But that is no excuse, we are a team and where one person is needs help an other will be there to help.  It's just different roles and responsibilities.  It's all part of our personal clutter baskets.

By the way, to help with these type issues there is a Sibshop at Berry College this Saturday for siblings of brothers and sisters with special needs.  It is just for the siblings.  Drop them off, pick them up and the end.  Any one in this area is invited.  I have realized that a lot of parents around here are not very familiar with Sibshops.  They are amazing.  The boys are so empowered after them.  They help the kids with the roles, responsibilities and just plain old crap that siblings go through with their brother or sister with special needs.  Jennifer Garrett from GSAP is running this one.  She is awesome herself and she is a sibling also.  She has walked this road our kids are on.  She has been so insightful with the boys and has helped me with issues that we face at times as parents with our "typical" kids and their relationship with Ivey.  She is also one incredible listener.  Contact me and I will get you all the information you need on the Sibshop.  It is truly worth every second.  Don't forget about the siblings, they tend to be the ones who are always overlooked, by everyone. 
gwen.sirmans@att.net

Darlington Class of 2015 to host Special Olympics

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